Gingers, fingers and ageing singers: The Brits 2012

Adele and James Corden.

Adele shows the audience how clean her middle finger is.

My name’s Daniel Beddingfield – give me a Brit (or is it a shit?) – Pitman

I admitted I quite liked Florence and the Machine’s performance, commented (again) on the gingerness of Ed Sheeran, moaned about Bruno Mars and learnt that Labrinth is actually called Timothy McKenzie. You could say I almost enjoyed this year’s Brit Awards.

This year, for some unknown reason, I was drawn into the spectacle of watching over-hyped musicians collect awards that looked like they were designed by a five-year old child. Maybe tweeting my way through the ceremony added a sense of entertainment that was previously absent from the show.

It was hardly anarchic rock ‘n’ roll stuff but it was worth watching purely to see George Michael high as a kite. Presumably he’d stuffed a load of Valium up his arse for the comedown. This year’s show will probably be remembered for Adele getting cut off during her acceptance speech because the world had to see Blur play the tunes that made them less popular than Oasis in the 1990s and even less popular in 2012. Damon Albarn laboured through a speech when collecting the ‘special contribution’ award, which ultimately made everything run over time. There wasn’t a lot of love for them by the time the show ended, if my Twitter feed was anything to go by.

Adele won a few things, predictably; Plan B was clearly off his face; Will I Am made a mistake when announcing a winner and tried to cover it up by pretending he meant to make the mistake; Noel Gallagher and his band didn’t win anything; Coldplay did; Cesc Fabregas turned up in a shiny suit alongside ‘the only Pussy Cat Doll you can remember’ Nicole Scherzinger; and a few people (including Labrinth) walked across the shot when host James Corden was doing his pieces to camera.

If you recorded it and have yet to watch it back, I suspect you won’t have to now if you’ve read the above.

I only tweeted a few times about the Brits but I still managed to acquire four spam followers to take me over the 200 mark for the first time. They didn’t last very long, however, as this morning I noticed that all four had stopped following me. It’s a pity; I would’ve liked to have got to know Latina Spanky, or whatever her name was.


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