I downloaded the William Hill app onto my phone the other night and I knew as I was waiting for the little icon to appear on my screen that it was a bad idea. A couple of days on and I’m proving myself right.
I had the glorious idea of using my phone to bet on the outcome of really obscure football fixtures (since those are where you can often find the good value bets). Years of putting £1 accumulators on pie-in-the-sky outcomes in the hope of fluking a £25,000 win had ground me down to the point where I just wanted to win, no matter how little it was. A couple of years ago I put £1 on Newcastle to beat Scunthorpe and I made 20p. That little seven-sided coin remains practically the only thing I’ve ever won when betting on football, and here’s why…
Last night I trawled through the Conference North fixtures in the hope of eyeing a couple of safe bets that would in the very least double my money. Nothing is guaranteed, of course, but backing Guiseley to beat Eastwood Town and Gainsborough Trinity to beat Vauxhall Motors was sensible. I mean, it was very sensible – a nice, easy way to double my £1 stake and give me the belief that I could, over time, do quite well out of mobile betting as soon as I’d grown a pair of big-betting balls.
Guiseley, who sat fourth in the Conference North with just one home defeat all season, were 1/3 to beat second bottom Eastwood, who had only managed to win three of their 30 games in 2011/12. Gainsborough, at 6/10, weren’t so certain to win, but no other team in the division had won more at home and Vauxhall were third bottom.
To cut what could potentially be a very long whinge into a succinct and efficient sentence, Guiseley somehow contrived to lose 2-1 at home to Eastwood and Gainsborough only managed to scrape a 1-1 draw.
My inability to choose the right matches to bet on, coupled with the William Hill app on my phone, means this little venture is destined not to have a happy ending.